Mini Skirt Mayhem
by littlefiction
Summary: Mustang has finally achieve his dream of becoming the Fuhrer, and as promised, drastic changes are made, and all female officers are required to wear tiny mini skirts!, and that means ALL female officers, including his right hand woman, Riza Hawkeye.


Hmmm… I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, It was created by Hiromu Arakawa. This person (whose gender I'm not aware of) is brilliant, and I thank this person very much for creating those wonderful characters.

Hmm…. My first Full Metal fanfic. A one shot. Oh, and I will admit here, I know nothing of military procedure, I just noticed whenever the Fuhrer shows up, all military personal salute. So, I threw in salutes where they felt right. Sorry if I'm terribly inaccurate on procedure details.

Oh, and yes, I realize that Hawkeye freaking out like that is WAY out of character, but so is wearing a tiny mini skirt. Don't like, don't read. Very simple.

Oh yeah, and words in italics are thoughts.

Mini Skirt Mayhem

_He finally did it- Mustang is finally the Fuhrer_. Riza Hawkeye was getting ready for work on the first day after Mustang's coronation, and he had convinced/ordered her to let him give her a ride to work, since he had a surprise for her. _But I wonder what the surprise is…_

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Riza went to the door, looked through the peep whole and saw the Flame Alchemist himself. She quickly opened the door wide, stepped to the side and saluted.

"Furher Mustang!"

"Nonsense, Mustang to you. Besides, you're gonna forget my title and get very excited when you see what I've brought you." He said with a disturbingly mischievous grin.

"Oh? You didn't have to bring me any-"

"No, but I wanted to."

"Well thank-"

"No, don't thank me, seriously."

"Well? What is it?"

"Tada! Your new uniform!" he sang, while pulling out a very mini pleated navy blue skirt.

Hawkeye's eyes were wide. _He… He's joking… He has to be…_

"Well, I'll wait out here while you get ready."

"You… you don't really expect me to wear this?"

"Of course I do!"

Hawkeye made a noise somewhere between a growl, a groan, and a whimper, while forcing her legs to move her towards the bedroom. Staring at it with disgust, she quickly changed from her usual conservative pants into the tiny mini skirt. She grabbed her stuff, and walked out to the living room without looking up.

Mustang's eyes went wide at the sight of her, thinking, _Legs_! in a shocked yet non-perverted way. He had never seen her ankles, much less everything else the mini skirt revealed. But the look of childish glee vanished as a look of concern creased his face.

"You ok, Hawkeye?"

"I'm fine, sir." She replied, in a decidedly forced tone. She opened the door, and saluted, staring determinately at some unknown point on the wall behind Mustang.

"If you're sure," he said, uneasy at his friend's sudden inability to look him in the eye. They walked to the car (complete with driver and armed guard) and he slide into the back seat, then gestured for Hawkeye to join him.

"hmmm…." Mutter Hawkeye, staring at the empty seat next to him. Mustang noticed her hesitation.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, sir. I'm just trying to find a way to sit down and scoot over without my skirt getting all twisted, sir."

_Her voice_, thought Mustang, _she's so tense…_

When she finally managed to sit down, the guards climbed in and the car drove off. Riza tried desperately to keep her skirt from rising, settling finally on just holding it in place. Her hands were balled into tight, shaking fists at the end of her skirt, and Mustang was concerned.

"Hawkeye, are you sure-"

"I'm fine… Sir." She muttered.

"No, you're not. Tell me what's bothering you." Riza exhaled shakily, much to the discomfort of the Fuhrer, who had never seen her like this.

"It's just…" She stammered, staring fixedly at his forehead, "With all do respect, Sir, how am I supposed to work in this?"

"Oh, is that all? The same as always. What difference does it make?"

"hm…" Riza was having trouble hiding her distress. She knew it showed, though she didn't realize just how obvious it had become. The car slowed to a stop outside of headquarters. Riza took a deep breath, steadied herself, and exited the car, stood next to it and saluted as Mustang got out. She appeared to be her usual professional in the extreme self. He waved down her gesture, comforted by her composure.

"Come on."

After entering the building, the two parted, each heading to a different work space. Mustang was off to his office, Riza was off to the staff lounge. She was already ahead of schedule on her reports and she didn't officially clock in for another hour. When she arrived, Havoc, Fury, Falman and Braeda were already there. She could tell by the way she was greeted, learning to get in a car in a mini skirt was the least of her problems.

"Pull yourselves together! Fury! Braeda! Fix your jaws. Falman! Put your hands down! Havoc! Take care of that nose bleed, you're making a mess!" As the day continued, Riza found herself daydreaming about castrating a wide variety of officers, most prominently Fuhrer Mustang, and was becoming rather spacy. Since it was the first day and everyone was settling in, it was mostly filling out very tedious paperwork, with nothing big planned for the day as almost everyone had been moved to a different office this day was mainly for setting up offices. As Riza was moving several files from her old office to her new office, she bumped into Mustang in the hall, dropping her files which spilled everywhere. For the first time since the car ride, Hawkeye whimpered. She saluted, apologized, and bent down with great difficulty to pick up her files. She had to sort of kneel and squat to get low enough to the ground to reach the papers without exposing her undergarments. It was very difficult. She almost fell over twice when Mustang bent down to help her.

"You know, Hawkeye, I was thinking. It's time I made some changes around here."

"More changes! Mustang, you've moved every officer in HQ to a different office, reassigned 67 percent of the secretaries, changed the uniforms so that I can't even pick up some fallen paper work without 10 male officers watching hoping to see my undergarments, and now you-"

"That's what I wanted to discuss with you. I think the female officers uniforms endanger them and those around them?" Hawkeye's eyes went wide, this time with hope.

"Really? Hang on, how does it endanger those around us?"

"Do you know how many female officers I've heard muttering under their breath various plots to assassignate me?" Riza laughed.

"I take it you were plotting my destruction as well?"

"Never. I would have taken you to get it stitched up afterwards, I'd just incinerate the detached limb so they wouldn't be able to reattach it." Mustang raised an eyebrow, his knees coming together protectively.

"Why don't you go home and get dressed, while I make the announcement."

Riza smiled, started to run off, then quickly turned back and saluted. Mustang returned the gesture and watched her go, then sighed. _Havoc will be after my blood when he finds out._


End file.
